ONE STEP CLOSER

Well we are one step closer to the end of this paperchase! We got a call Friday that Holt had received our final draft of the home study and approved it!! Yeah!!

So Fairbanks Counseling and Adoption will give us 3 notarized and certified copies of the home study. One copy will go to Holt, one copy will go to immigration, and we will keep one copy. Once immigration gets their copy we will do our fingerprints and get our I-171H. Then we send a notarized and certified copy of the I-171H to Holt and they finally send the entire notarized, certified, and authenticated mess to China!

Once China approves the whole dossier they will contact Holt and we will travel within 2 weeks of the very final approval....

I know we are getting there but it still feels like it's never gonna end!

Hang in there Katy...we're working as fast as we can to come get you.

On a side note I gotta quit buying stuff. I bought her 2 more pairs of shoes this weekend. So far we've gotten her a snow suit, hat/gloves, snow boots, white canvas tennis shoes, brown suede casual shoes, 2 microfleece pant/pull over sweater sets, 2 complete 3 piece jeans/shirt/jacket sets, 2 pairs courdroys, 1 velour sweat suit outfit, 5 shirts, and jammies. I just keep seeing cute little clothes and I can't help myself, this is getting ridiculous!

WHAT HAVE WE ACCOMPLISHED

Whenever I have a big project to tackle I like to make a list. Then again I make lists for everything. It's a control thing, I tend to be a control freak--maybe a little obssesed and most definitely a Type A+++++. So when it came time for the dossier I made a list. A big one--with highlighting and check marks and dates and updates. Like I said I'm a little obssesed.

PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENT FORM: sent to dossier service (DS)
APPLICATION LETTER: notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting for authentication
BIRTH CERTIFICATE (TODD): certified, sent to DS, authenticated
BIRTH CERTIFICATE (LEONA): certified, sent to DS-waiting for auth
MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE: certified, sent to DS-waiting for auth
DIVORCE CERTIFICATE (LEONA): certified, sent to DS-waiting for auth
EMPLOYMENT LETTER (TODD): notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting for auth
EMPLOYMENT LETTER (LEONA): notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting for auth
CERTIFICATE OF FINANCIAL STATUS: notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting to auth
CERTIFICATE OF GENERAL PHYSICAL EXAM (TODD): notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting to auth
CERTIFICATE OF GENERAL PHYSICAL EXAM (LEONA): notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting to auth
POLICE CLEARANCE DOMESTIC (TODD): notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting to auth
POLICE CLEARANCE DOMESTIC (LEONA): notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting to auth
POLICE CLEARANCE INTERNATIONAL (TODD): notarized, certified, sent to DS-waiting to auth
ADOPTION STUDY: waiting for final draft to be approved by Holt
PASSPORT PAGE (TODD): sent to DS
PASSPORT PAGE (LEONA): sent to DS
I600A: all info sent except homestudy, waiting for fingerprint appointment
I-171H: waiting for completion of I60A; when I-171H received must make 3 copies and notarize and certify all copies-send 1 vopy to DS to auth
PHOTOGRAPHS: sent to DS

FEES:
HOMESTUDY FEE: paid in full
DOSSIER SERVICE FEE: paid in full
I600A PROCESSING FEE: paid in full
FINGERPRINTING FEE: paid in full
ADOPTION FEE: still pending
TRAVEL FEE: still pending
PLANE TICKETS: still pending

So we got a lot done. Now we are waiting on other people to do their part. I'm relieved that we've gotten all of our financial needs taken care of--that was stressful. Now we just wait. Whenever I get impatient I remind myself of how much we've done so quickly and that our wait is really not that long--then I look at Katy's big grin and I laugh. I can't wait to see that grin for myself and to be the one who makes her face light up. Man I love that little girl--I am a lucky woman, truly blessed.

SEPTEMBER 2006

We have received recent photos of Yuan Niu. She has a great smile, it lights up her whole face. What a beautiful child! We've also made decisions and efforts to prepare for her homecoming.

We have decided to give her an American name but keep her Chinese name and use it as her middle name. So once we are home and finalizing the adoption we will rename her Katy Yuan Niu Kochte. What a mouthful, that poor child! We don't want to forget her Chinese heritage and we want her to know the name that was chosen for her by the people who loved her and cared for her until we could bring her home. At this time I will also change my legal name from Hendrickson-Kochte to Kochte. We're a family now so we should all have the same last name.

Katy's room has been painted and decorated. Mom and I bought her a pink bed set with ballerinas on it. We're finally allowing ourselves to be excited. We've bought clothes and shoes and have made plans. I'm still scared to death and Todd is still calm. I have Katy's picture in my office and I can't help but smile every time I look at her. I'm counting the days...Dad looks at her picture every day and tells her we are hurrying and that we'll be there soon to bring her home. Mom prays for her every day. I pray for her every night and for her foster parents. Todd is still calm, he's not worried or at least he won't tell me if he is.

So we are still waiting...

DROWNING IN PAPERWORK

August 2006 we were drowning in paperwork. I was so overwhelmed, there was so much to do. So I made a list and I tackled one item at a time. Todd was running back and forth from the courthouse to the Vital Statistics and the notary at Alaska USA Federal Credit Union was getting used to our daily visits.

We had a couple of set backs with my birth certificate and our physicals but it all came together. We had decided to sign up for the dossier service provided by Holt. It was an extra fee but we felt it was worth it. Now all we had to do was get the documents notarized and certified but Holt would do the authentication and actually put the dossier together. Now we know the dossier will be correct and should be processed without any problems.

During all of this we were sent all the original photos of our daughter. We were given a whole 6 pictures. She's almost 3 years old and there were only 6 pictures to document her childhood. It breaks my heart. We received more information and were told that she had been placed with a foster family at 1 week old. That bit of information eased our minds on issues of attachment and bonding. Children who are placed in orphanages have a greater chance of having attachment disorders and problems bonding. From the information we received we know that she is happy, healthy, and progressing perfectly for her age.

I am amazed at how quickly we all fell in love with Yuan Niu. I was hesitant to show her pictures or make plans because I know how it feels to have all this hope and then have it yanked away so quickly. It's devastating to have your dreams crushed and to be left with nothing. My dad never faltered in his faith that everything would work out. He had Yuan Niu's pictures everywhere, even in his wallet. He told everyone and anyone that he was a grandpa. My mom hung back a little, she was feeling cautious and she didn't want to see me get hurt again. Todd was calm as usual and had no doubt that everything would go smoothly.

Now we are waiting...we are waiting for immigration to process our application to adopt froma foreign country. We are waiting for our home study to be finalized. We are waiting for our dossier to be sent to China. We are waiting for our travel dates to bring our new daughter home. We are waiting.

PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED

July 2006 we found ourselves being scrutinized and picked apart to see if we were worthy of adopting a child. This was a really stressful situation, but we knew it was neccessary. Along with this mass of paperwork and 3 pound Adoption Process Guidebook we were given access to Holt's Waiting Children Photolisting.

The photolisting had about 16 children with short biographies. We searched these photos and read every word of the biographies. We kept referring to Web MD to research conditions and researching what medical specialties we had available in our little town. Mid July Todd found a little girl who had just been listed. He called me at work and said look at the little girl in the top row, first one on the left. I read her bio and agreed that her medical condition was nothing big and we could definitely handle it. I'm chosing not to disclose her medical need because no one needs to know and no one will be endangered by it. I told Todd that I didn't know if she was the one so I kept looking. Todd kept talking about her so I kept going back to her picture, and I prayed. A couple days later I looked at her picture and knew she was meant for us. I think I was just to afraid to see it. July 14 we asked the social worker for the little girl's complete file. We received the file July 17 and knew without a doubt that we wanted to be her parents. I called the case worker at Holt that day and said we wanted her, this little girl named Yuan Niu who was born Oct 30, 2003.

Yuan Niu is a lucky little girl. There were 2 other families who wanted her. We had a phone interview with the case worker on July 24 and we were told a decision would be made on July 27--just 72 hours later. How do a social workers choose a family for a child? Well it turns out they literally put the writing on the wall. A case worker was designated for each adoptive family, another case worker designated to the child. They list the adoptive families pros and cons and then list the childs needs. Then they compare, and they critique, and they scrutinized. You are judged based on paper and one phone interview. I can't imagine the weight of the responsibility placed on these people.

July 27 I was a mess and Todd was as calm as could be. My mother told me not to think about it and my father said not to worry because he had had a dream. He knew Yuan Niu was ours, was meant for us. Finally at 2:00pm I received a call from Holt. The case worker told me a decision had been made, we were chosen for Yuan Niu. I don't remember breathing, all I remember is crying and thanking her and God. I still tear up thinking about it. Finally my prayers had been answered.

I called Todd, I called my mom, I called my dad, I was running down the halls of the hospital (where I work) to tell my boss. I prayed and thanked God. Finally after all these years...

THE FIRST STEP

June 2006 marked a new beginning for us. Todd and I had finally made a decision. After 6 years of fertility treatments and 3 early losses we had decided to move on. We contacted Fairbanks Counseling and adoption and met with a social worker. This was not our first meeting; we had done this twice before. I wasn't ready to move on then, but I am now. We completed our application and started our homestudy.

Now we had to decide if we wanted to adopt locally, domestically, or internationally. What races would we consider? Could we handle a child with medical needs? Did we want a baby or an older child? It was so overwhelming and confusing. So we talked and we prayed and we talked and prayed some more. We spoke with my parents and asked their opinion. We talked with a friend of ours who had chosen to place her daughter with an adoptive family. I was scared and Todd was concerned.

We finally decided to adopt internationally; we chose to adopt from China. Now we needed to work with a second agency and our social worker recommended Holt International. After doing some research we agreed to apply with Holt. We also decided that we wanted a "waiting child." Waiting children tend to be older, 1 year and up, and have medical needs. Maybe I should explain why...we lost a baby in 2001 and I was devasted. I prayed for answers and I screamed at God for being so cruel. One night after much praying and crying and begging for help I finally fell asleep. At one point I could feel myself surrounded by a warm, soft light and I heard a voice. This voice told me that I was to love the children nobody wanted. I woke up and new that I needed to do this, so we started doing foster care. We loved the children we met through foster care and every single one of them was considered special needs. I think we were meant to do foster care to prepare us for our Forever Family.